PostRejects

A long overdue message from the writer

2010-11-23T11:41:00.006-05:00

Dear readers,

After writing, printing, cutting out, and gluing together more than 400 fake secrets over the past two years, it's time for me to call it quits.

The reason is simply that I've run out of ideas for silly postcards. (If you've looked at PostSecret lately, you might have noticed that they're suffering from similar issues.) I've already gone through two long, unannounced hiatuses in the hope that I'd be able to come back with some real content, but alas, that well has more or less dried up.

Still, I'll miss writing for this site. I don't think I'll ever again be able to look at an "Avery Permanente Glue Stic" (or any glue stic, for that matter) without getting a little bit sentimental. And I'm hardly ready to part with Fred Jurgens, that lovable scamp. I'm sure he'll crop up again elsewhere in my writing.

It's been a pleasure to read your comments over the years, especially the ones where you guys debate whether anyone has a right to be mad at me for not updating consistently because I provide you with a free service. To my supporters: I am touched by your support. To my detractors: your words weigh heavily upon my soul.

I'm keeping this blog online, so the archive will still be available as an everlasting memorial to the satiric potential of the secret-on-postcard form. And I may end up posting a secret or two more, if the inspiration strikes me...so keep this site in your feed reader if you want to see that.

There will be new, more-consistently updated(!) projects from me soon, and if you'd like to hear about them when they happen, sign up for the PostRejects newsletter.

In closing, I would like to relate an amusing story. I spoke to Frank Warren at a PostSecret event some months ago. Nice guy-- and definitely aware of PostRejects. "You know," he said to me when I introduced myself, "people actually think you steal secrets from my trash".

It turns out that Frank would frequently receive e-mails about Postrejects, some alerting him to Fred Jurgens's fictitious pilfering of his garbage, others expressing hurt and betrayal at the thought that their own secrets might have been thrown away. He was not pleased about this.

I'd like to set the record straight for those people: Frank has not thrown your secret away. He would never do that.

In fact, the only reason he has not put your secret in his books or on his website is that it is simply too precious, too raw, too unimaginably moving to share with the rest of the world. So he has placed it in his personal archive, like the priceless treasure that it is.

On certain Wednesdays, Frank gently removes your postcard from storage and sits with it in his favorite armchair, running his fingers lovingly across its face, feeling the tiny ridges along each cut-out piece of text, and imagines the heartbreaking story that lies within. A single tear runs down his &c &c &c &c &c

All the best,
Mike

2010-10-02T23:27:00.000-04:00

2010-09-29T23:24:00.000-04:00

2010-09-14T22:54:00.000-04:00

2010-09-07T19:58:00.000-04:00

Guest Reject

2010-09-03T21:00:00.000-04:00

Guest Reject from my buddy The Covert Comic. To all of you who posted these last couple weeks, thank you for your concern. Spent last month sorting out life situation. More regular rejects to come.

2010-07-23T10:13:00.000-04:00

2010-07-21T06:12:00.000-04:00

2010-07-19T00:00:00.000-04:00

2010-07-18T00:00:00.002-04:00

2010-07-16T00:01:00.000-04:00

2010-07-14T00:01:00.001-04:00

2010-07-12T00:01:00.003-04:00

See below for Sunday rejects and the new post format!

Sunday Rejects, Introducing a New Format

2010-07-11T23:12:00.002-04:00

Dear Valued Readers,

Many of you have complained that I do not update often enough. For a long time I thought this was a little bit insulting, since here I am already taking the time out of my busy life as a retail store assistant manager in order to provide you with free content. But then I read an article somewhere that said that blogs that update frequently are more likely to "monetize", which means make money, which is why I started this thing in the first place. So now I will be posting four times a week.

The New Format will be like this:

Monday: 1 card
Wednesday: 1 card
Friday: 1 card
Sunday: HOLY SHIT TWO CARDS

Also if you like your crappy secrets in Tumblr form, I'm going to be linking the feed from this blog to http://postrejects.tumblr.com . Please reblog my stuff frequently. Thanks.

Sincerely,
Fred Jurgens

Guest Rejects Compromise Your National Security for Cash

2010-07-03T11:34:00.000-04:00

E-mail message accompanying secret:
"From your many, many enthusiastic readers at a certain Gummint agency."

Guest Reject!

2010-07-02T17:05:00.002-04:00

Sunday Rejects 6/20

2010-06-20T19:15:00.001-04:00

Posting more as I acquire them!

Guest Reject 6/15

2010-06-15T23:28:00.000-04:00

Sunday Rejects 6/6

2010-06-06T22:09:00.001-04:00

Sunday Rejects 5/30

2010-05-30T11:44:00.002-04:00

Did you miss me???

Guest Reject 5/24

2010-05-24T23:44:00.003-04:00

Sunday Rejects 5/16

2010-05-16T01:58:00.001-04:00

More to come!

Sunday Rejects 5/2 (continued)

2010-05-02T21:25:00.000-04:00

Sunday Rejects 5/2

2010-05-02T12:23:00.001-04:00

Four more secrets coming tonight!

Sunday Rejects 4/18

2010-04-18T02:41:00.002-04:00

Guest Reject 4/14

2010-04-14T23:45:00.004-04:00

---E-mail Message---

What the hell? I got you that calendar specifically to help you plan my surprise birthday party. Total rip off.

Sunday Rejects 4/11

2010-04-11T01:10:00.008-04:00

Guest Reject 4/7

2010-04-07T23:26:00.003-04:00

Sunday Rejects 4/4

2010-04-04T02:06:00.001-04:00

Guest Reject 3/31

2010-03-31T15:00:00.000-04:00

Sunday Rejects 3/21

2010-03-21T10:59:00.002-04:00

Guest Rejects Have a Dilemma

2010-03-18T09:48:00.005-04:00

If I had to guess I'd go with "organic". I don't know, though, what do you guys think?

Sunday Rejects 3/14

2010-03-14T01:51:00.004-05:00

I'm told that the above card is based on a picture of Rachel Kramer Bussel shot by Stacie Joy. Ms. Bussel had this to say: "If I'm gonna be the poster girl for sluts, I want credit, damnit!" Well, there you go. Congratulations!

Massive Guest Rejects Post!

2010-03-10T12:36:00.005-05:00

...also, I avoid giant smoke monsters wherever possible.

On back: "I swear, this is the last time I ever cruise that amnesiac support group for dates"

Guest Reject, more Rejects coming tomorrow

2010-03-07T03:50:00.004-05:00

Schedule for the week:
Today: Guest Reject (see above)
Monday: Sunday Rejects!!!!!!
Wednesday: MORE Guest Rejects!

Send your guest rejects to postrejects@gmail.com!

By Popular Demand

2010-03-03T12:00:00.002-05:00

The Sky Shirt! Only at the PostRejects Store.

(Use the coupon code MARCHSALE to receive a 15% discount!)

Sunday Rejects 2/28

2010-02-28T12:06:00.002-05:00

There's an Easter Egg this week! Can you find it?

Rejects

2010-02-23T17:26:00.005-05:00

---E-mail Message---

Tell me about it...I work at Hooters.

Belated Valentine's Day Rejects

2010-02-15T18:12:00.001-05:00

You have no idea what kind of a post-Valentine's Day hangover I had to fight through in order to get these for you. You're welcome.

-Fred

Happy Valentine's Day, Losers

2010-02-14T11:06:00.001-05:00

I'm going to go get wasted. PostRejects coming tomorrow.

-Fred

Guest Rejects 2/11

2010-02-11T14:37:00.004-05:00

---E-mail Message---

Wait, let me guess, was it the guy from Coldplay? It's really weird...his bedroom moves are all exactly like Joe Satriani's, only not as good. Don't ask me how I know this.

Sunday Rejects 2/7

2010-02-08T15:14:00.004-05:00

Guest Rejects Catch You In The Act

2010-02-03T11:26:00.001-05:00

Do you guys have secrets that aren't compelling enough for PostSecret? Skip the middleman! Send your Guest Rejects to me at postrejects@gmail.com

Sunday Rejects 1-31

2010-01-31T09:39:00.004-05:00

Check out MetaTees, a new project from the creator of PostRejects!

Guest Rejects For Judgmental Underachievers

2010-01-27T11:04:00.002-05:00

I like to think that these were sent by the same person...

Sunday Rejects 1/24

2010-01-24T11:59:00.001-05:00

Here's a start... Posting them as quickly as I can get them together!

Sunday Rejects 1/17

2010-01-17T02:53:00.001-05:00

Guest Rejects Dump You With Postcard Art

2010-01-13T00:01:00.001-05:00

Think your secrets are better? Send them to postrejects@gmail.com or post them on the PostRejects Facebook page

Get out the vote!

2010-01-12T08:59:00.003-05:00

Today is the last day to nominate PostRejects for a 2010 Bloggie Award! Make your selections here!

Sunday Rejects 1/10

2010-01-10T18:28:00.006-05:00

Help get PostRejects nominated for a 2010 Bloggie Award! We're going for best art/craft/design blog, most humorous, and best-kept secret! http://2010.bloggies.com/

Text on back: "I never thought my killing spree would end up being so informative!"

Phase Two

2010-01-09T01:22:00.004-05:00

A Message From Fred Jurgens:

Dear Beloved Readers,

I am proud to inform you that, after more than a year of bringing readers the very best in surplus postcard art, PostRejects has entered Phase Two. This has resulted in a number of exciting new developments.

First, PostRejects has a shiny new Facebook Fan Page. You should join it. On this page, you can post your very own PostRejects. You can also have discussions with likeminded people about PostRejects and other things. I will carefully read each and every one of your comments and posted pictures, and if they are special enough, I will post them as Guest Rejects on Wednesdays. If they are too special, then I will send them to the PostSecret guy.

Also, go sign up for the PostRejects mailing list in the righthand sidebar. Don't worry: I am too lazy to spam you. In fact, I am so lazy that I won't bother to send you anything other than the absolute finest and most compelling updates about PostRejects and related projects.

If you join the PostRejects Fan Page and sign up for the mailing list, then wonderful things will happen someday. I promise.

Sincerely,
Fred Jurgens

P.S.- Keep an eye out for the Phase Two commemorative T-shirt!

Guest Rejects Give You Hot Gynecomastia Action

2010-01-06T22:48:00.005-05:00

Do you have a secret that wouldn't make it on PostSecret? Send it straight to PostRejects!!! postrejects@gmail.com

Sunday Rejects 1/3

2010-01-03T22:52:00.004-05:00

---E-mail message---

Your secret's a little bit sad and a little bit funny. It's so true, though. It's never a direct trade, just that one thing might lead to another and before you know it, you just go, "No fair!" But ultimately... you don't really sound like you regret the decision. ;)

Guest Rejects Wish You a Merry Belated Christmas

2009-12-31T00:45:00.003-05:00

...and a Happy New Year.

Sunday Rejects 12/20

2009-12-20T01:17:00.002-05:00

--- E-mail message ---

You wouldn't.

The Leaf Shirt

2009-12-17T02:07:00.005-05:00

By popular demand, the "Wish I was a leaf" shirt!

And here's the design up close. It looks just like the original Reject!

Go buy yourself one of these for Christmas! Only at the PostRejects Store!

Sunday Rejects 12/13

2009-12-13T09:12:00.003-05:00

Last week's update was pretty late, but it's up now, so just scroll down if you want to see it. Also, leave me suggestions in the comments about which of the last 10 rejects you'd like to see turned into a shirt!

New Secrets

2009-12-10T16:23:00.004-05:00

...and we're back

2009-11-30T21:06:00.001-05:00

A Reject

2009-11-25T07:58:00.003-05:00

Now you can all stop e-mailing me!

You know you want this shirt

2009-11-20T14:43:00.002-05:00

http://postrejects.spreadshirt.com

Sunday Rejects 11/15

2009-11-15T20:46:00.004-05:00

Guest Rejects 11/11

2009-11-11T23:10:00.002-05:00

Regular update schedule resumes this Sunday!

Sunday Rejects 11/1

2009-11-01T21:28:00.001-05:00

Thursday Bonus Reject 10/29

2009-10-29T22:16:00.001-04:00

Double Guest Reject 10/28

2009-10-28T11:46:00.002-04:00

Sunday Rejects 10/25

2009-10-25T00:00:00.004-04:00

Thursday Bonus Reject 10/22

2009-10-22T18:32:00.005-04:00

Presenting the Official PostRejects Halloween Costume!

Only at the PostRejects Shirt Store!
Also, a limited time offer: buy two or more shirts and enter the coupon code "TREAT9" and get FREE GROUND SHIPPING on your order.

Guest Rejects Will Trade Friendship for Chair

2009-10-21T12:13:00.002-04:00

Sunday Rejects 10/18

2009-10-18T16:36:00.001-04:00

Sunday Rejects 10/11

2009-10-11T23:44:00.001-04:00

More to come...
-Fred

Wednesday Guest Reject 10/7

2009-10-07T22:43:00.004-04:00

Frank Warren Blasts PostRejects!

2009-10-05T13:14:00.002-04:00

Check out this interview Frank Warren (aka "The PostSecret guy") gave to the Greenville MetroMix prior to one of his speaking events:

Q: What do you think about sites like PostRejects.com that sort of turn PostSecret inside out?

A: To be honest, PostSecret really wasn’t the first confessional site, and there certainly have been confessional sites since PostSecret, but I feel what none of them can really replicate is the relationship between strangers and myself that allows hundreds of thousands of people to share secret fears and hopes and humiliating stories and hidden acts of kindness in ways I’ve never seen anywhere else.

Don't hold back, Frank! Tell us how you really feel!

More on this controversy as it develops.

Sunday Rejects 10/4

2009-10-04T20:45:00.002-04:00

Guest Rejects to Tide You Over

2009-09-27T21:45:00.000-04:00

I've been getting a lot of these lately. Send me more! Also, the full weekly update is coming tomorrow.

Guest Reject 9/23

2009-09-23T00:00:00.001-04:00

Guest Rejects returns! This one is from Andrew Futral, who generously allowed his name to be used in conjunction with his secret.

Well, Andrew-- at least you're not a virgin, am I right?

Stay tuned for more guest rejects from Mr. Futral in weeks to come. And as always, if you think your deepest, darkest secrets are better than this one, send them to postrejects@gmail.com.

Sunday Rejects 9/20

2009-09-20T21:00:00.002-04:00

-----Email Message-----

Old news. Why do you think Queer Eye went off the air?

Sunday Rejects 9/13

2009-09-14T23:00:00.002-04:00

Sorry for the delay, guys. Just got my Internet back up and running, so here's this week's rejects:

Presenting the Status Update Tee!

2009-09-08T19:58:00.007-04:00

Only at the PostRejects Spreadshirt Store!

Sunday Rejects 9/6

2009-09-06T01:30:00.002-04:00

Welcome CollegeHumor Traffic

2009-09-05T11:12:00.004-04:00

A Message From Fred Jurgens:

Dear Massive Influx of Readers,

Here is a look back at some of the most popular PostRejects of Sundays past. Please buy my shirts.

-Fred

Thursday Bonus Reject 9/3

2009-09-03T00:24:00.002-04:00

Sunday Rejects 8/30

2009-08-30T00:23:00.004-04:00

Thursday Bonus Reject 8/26

2009-08-26T23:27:00.002-04:00

Go vote in the poll! It's on the righthand sidebar.

Sunday Rejects 8/23

2009-08-23T03:30:00.004-04:00

Guest Reject 8-19

2009-08-19T23:05:00.000-04:00

Sunday Rejects 8/16

2009-08-18T16:09:00.002-04:00

Wednesday Guest Reject 8/12

2009-08-12T10:07:00.000-04:00

By Reader Request...

2009-08-11T12:35:00.005-04:00

Presenting the PostRejects imaginary friend tee!

The women's tee:
The men's tee:

Sunday Rejects 8/09

2009-08-09T21:44:00.003-04:00

Thursday Bonus Reject 8-6

2009-08-06T01:28:00.003-04:00

Wednesday Guest Reject 8/4

2009-08-05T00:01:00.000-04:00

Sunday Rejects 8/02

2009-08-02T15:58:00.002-04:00

Thursday Bonus Reject 7-30

2009-07-30T18:51:00.002-04:00

Get your "Why Emo" Shirts

2009-07-28T13:37:00.010-04:00

A Message from Fred Jurgens

Before I started PostRejects, I was never really the "artistic" type. Honestly, I always thought of myself as being just Fred, the effective, no-nonsense, good-looking retail store manager from Germantown. But ever since I opened the PostRejects Shirt Store the creativity has just been flowing out of me 24/7.

Case in point, check out the evolution of the newest PostReject tee, in which I transform a postcard sent in by a misguided weirdo into a piece of wearable art.

Alright, here's the Reject:

And here is the high-quality T-shirt design that I generated from it:

And here's how awesome it looks on a shirt:

I know that if I had Vince Offer, the rapping salesman from those Slap Chop internet commercials, these shirts would be flying off the shelves. But this site isn't profitable enough to hire him just yet, so here I am.

In these tough economic times, shouldn't you be supporting small business owners? Aren't I a small business owner? Shouldn't you be buying this shirt right now?

Sunday Rejects 7/26

2009-07-26T00:15:00.002-04:00

Guest Reject etc.

2009-07-19T23:51:00.002-04:00

A Message From Fred Jurgens

Alright, I know this isn't the weekly PostRejects update-- that will have to wait until Tuesday. Don't worry though, I haven't moved the weekly update to Tuesdays. Starting next week, I'm going to go back to the Sunday update schedule, and I will also be posting some ALL NEW T-shirt designs.

Keep making me money,

Fred

Sunday Rejects 7-12

2009-07-13T01:57:00.006-04:00

Other side: "I was speeding and the kid came out of nowhere"

Thursday Bonus Reject 7-9

2009-07-09T22:18:00.002-04:00

Sunday Rejects 7-05

2009-07-05T11:11:00.006-04:00

Get your Sigmund Freud shirts!

The Sigmund Freud Shirt: The perfect shirt for people who "totally relate" to Freudian theories of psychoanalysis. Also a great gift for that guy who won't stop talking about his fetishes. Men's and women's Sigmund Freud tees available only at the PostRejects store.

PostReject Tees: Wear your secret on a shirt!