Guest Rejects Sponsored by Wal-Mart

Okay, not really. Here's the latest guest reject:

I suspect that this is how everyone who shops at Walmart feels, but there's only one way to find out for sure. I have created another opinion poll, which you may find in the upper righthand sidebar of the site.

And now, a recap of last week's poll results:
The Question: Which of the Guest Rejects in the January 7th update is sadder?
The Answers(567 votes):
(A) Exaggerated Dad Death – 196 (34%)
(B) Autumn of Existential Despair- 163 (28%)
(C) I am sadder than both Guest Rejects - 208 (36%)

The winner, by 12 votes, was option C: you are all incredibly sad. What a surprise! I never thought that people who spend all of their time looking at other people's secrets online would be sad. Just kidding, you are all losers and everyone knows it. But if you buy my shirts, you will look great and be popular, guaranteed!

In the meantime, here's a lifestyle tip for you: When I am sad, I usually cheer myself up by watching this video of Martin Luther rapping about his 95 theses. Seriously, it never gets old.

P.S.- If you are reading this, and you are a Wal-Mart representative who would be interested in signing me to a lucrative endorsement deal, please e-mail me at postrejects at gmail dot com.