Friday, January 30, 2009

The Most Incomprehensible Guest Reject

This guest reject arrived in my inbox with a two word e-mail. "I quit," was all it said.

Here's the reject in all of its befuddling glory:

What the hell am I looking at here? Is this supposed to be one secret, or two? What is the meaning of the title "Prejection"? Why does one of the squirrels need a break? What on Earth is that other squirrel talking about? What are the squirrels doing there in the first place?

And...oh god, the flamingos. I just now noticed all of the flamingos.

This situation calls for desperate measures, so I have opened up the comments to all site readers in the hopes that you can offer some explanation for this completely perplexing submission.

In other news, there were trying times for PostRejects this past week, with decent traffic but declining ad revenues. I wondered-- would all of my efforts come to nothing? Readers, I confess to you that I may, at times, allowed despair to enter my heart. Yet there has been a light in the darkness, assuring me that this site may yet become profitable!

Someone has finally bought a PostRejects Shirt!

(It was the one with the puffins)

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Uhh... can't read it... can't click on it to view in big either. :(

Fred J said...

Fixed it.
-Fred

Char said...

So... what I'm guessing is that the squirrels are a reflection of Guest's self, and they need a break from the fake tan of the world so they're going to yoga classes, right? And these yoga classes, they turn out to be mega karma-points, so Guest is lovin' it and all the sudden they fall in love with the yoga teacher, who coincidentally owns several green flamingos. They buy a bungalow in Spain and begin growing a garden that fits exactly into a four by four square of cantaloupe-scented astroturf. They're confused though, as seen by the fact that they can't spell rejection or predict, and their Id and Ego are conflicting, considering there are more than one squirrel(s).

Anonymous said...

what she said...

Anonymous said...

i don't like clicking on advertisements. so much for your get rich quick idea.

Anonymous said...

painful twists DO outnumber redemptive transformations and they ARE profoundly more entertaining as well. or are they not? our guest is seen in the bardo of modern life: there are two squirrels. one is a yoga teacher who offers redemption so you'll pay him to watch writhe around on the floor. the other is you. and rightfully so. or wrongfully right. difficult to say.

Anonymous said...

"prejection" implies it is an admission of failure, only submitted in the offchance that it might be so odd it could baffle viewers into admiration.

Derek said...

I understand it, but it's in the language of druggies, the words of which often have no english counterpart. The short version is: "I took a massive hit on that bong and made a picture."

Anonymous said...

I think this site is absolutely bogus. &I think you're a major creep. These cards are rediculous.

Anonymous said...

shrooms. definitely shrooms...