Sunday, April 19, 2009

Sunday Rejects 4-19

---E-mail message---
Subject: Nicholson card

That's funny, I'm a lesbian because of Jack Nicholson.

---E-mail message---
Subject: Jack Nicholson?

Could someone please explain to me why we're all suddenly using Jack Nicholson to define our lesbianism?

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

A Harrowing Guest Reject

Puzzles? Not the sports section? That's fucked up.

Think you've got better secrets than this person?
Send your guest rejects to postrejects at gmail dot com or to my friend's P.O. box (address below). I usually run guest submissions on Wednesdays.

PO Box 205200
New Haven CT, 06520

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Sunday Rejects 4-12-09

---E-mail message---
Subject: Heavy lies the head that wears the plastic crown

Dear "abusive" Prom King,

Good for you that you even got to use your powers. I, on the other hand, was deposed shortly after being named prom king. Adding to the indignity of the situation, they established a liberal democracy in my place.

Suffice it to say I haven't been to any of my high school class reunions.