Monday, February 23, 2009

PostRejects Tees

A message from Fred Jurgens
(scroll down for this week's PostRejects)

Some of you may remember this very special PostReject, which appeared in my first update back in November.

Since I posted this card, I've received countless e-mails from people thanking me for bringing their dependency into the light. And so I thought, "What better way to tell the world about your dangerous addiction to glitter than a shirt specialty-printed with glitter ink?"

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the PostRejects glitter tee. Wear it proudly, with attitude:

...Or contritely, on the way to your glitter intervention.

The PostRejects glitter tee. Only $13.99 at the PostRejects Spreadshirt Store.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Sunday Rejects 2-22-09

-----E-mail Message-----
Subject: Capitalism

Yeah, I'm pretty ambivalent about capitalism.

-----E-mail Message-----

Gets the job done, I guess

-----E-mail Message-----
Subject: Re: Capitalism

I just don't see why people make such a big deal out of it.

-----E-mail Message-----
Subject: Capitalism

Hi Fred!

Is that a picture of Sue Johanson from that "Talk Sex with Sue Johanson" show that used to run on the Oxygen channel? I loved that show! My girlfriends and I used to hold viewing parties for it all the time.

I guess capitalism is alright, too. I haven't really thought about it :)

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Belated Valentine's Day Rejects

-----E-mail Message-----
Subject: To the person who sent the fruit loops card

Joke's on you, honey. I only married you for your looks.

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Sunday Rejects 2-8-08

-----Email Message-----
Subject: Vasco da Gama

To the Vasco da Gama girl:

I don't blame your boyfriend, frankly. Yeah, da Gama got all the way to India by sea, big deal. Magellan sailed around the WHOLE FUCKING WORLD. There's a word for that: CIRCUMNAVIGATION. Here's another word for it: FUCKING AMAZING.

You have awful taste in explorers and if I was your boyfriend, I'd break up with you.

-----Email Message-----
Subject: Chastity club

Hey, if you think you've got it tough, try being the only member of your high school swinger's club.

-----Email Message-----
Subject: RE: Chastity club

Dude I totally sympathize with you (the swinger's club guy, I mean)-- getting that second member is always the hardest for some reason. Have you tried postering?

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Sunday Rejects 2-1-09

To whoever sent the last one: nice try with the address, but this is an ANONYMOUS secret site. If you want stalkers, then get a myspace.