Saturday, November 29, 2008

Sunday Rejects

-----Email Message-----
Subject: AWFUL, DISTURBING image

Dear Fred,
I am shocked that you did not publish an appropriate warning before subjecting your readers to the horrifying image contained in your fourth postcard. I know that it is a fake, and that nothing like it exists or could ever exist on this Earth, but that knowledge is not enough to sear it from my retinas.
Thanks a lot, Fred. I hope you burn in hell for this.
- (name redacted)

-----Email Message-----
Subject: "Dr. Phil M&M Man"

I was so unsettled by the "Dr Phil M&M Man" postcard that immediately upon seeing it, I projectile vomited all over the floor of my computer room. My wife, alarmed by the noise, rushed in to check on me. In her haste, she slipped in a pool of vomit and appears to have broken her collarbone. I brought my laptop to the hospital with me so that I could let you know that you ruined my Thanksgiving weekend.

Also, you're a worthless hack and I'm never coming back to your stupid site.

-(name redacted)

-----Email Message-----
Subject: What's the big deal?

I don't know why everyone is making such a big fuss over some postcard on a website. I mean, yeah, that Dr. Phil M&M thing gives me the willies-- but don't you think there are better uses for our energy? People are, like, starving.

-----Email Message-----
Subject: How do you sleep at night?

You have ruined M&Ms for me forever.

(name redacted)

A Message From Fred Jurgens:

Hello, PostRejects readers. I've received a ton of feedback about the card that I posted that contained an image of an M&M modified to resemble Dr. Phil. I really didn't see anything wrong with it when I put it up, but I guess you're all way more sensitive than I am. Whoa, big surprise there.

Anyway, the most important thing to me is site traffic-- I'd hate to keep a card up that drives viewers (and revenue) away. So I added a poll on the sidebar of the site, so you can help me decide what to do. Let your voices be heard or whatever.

Keep clicking those ads,


P.S.- Stay tuned for further developments this week, including a hot new guest secret and awesome PostRejects merchandise!!


Daughter said...

The dog one was genius, I burst out laughing by myself in my apt. Leave the Dr. Phil M&M, it's funny.

Amna_a said...

This stuff is GOLD.

Keep Dr. Phil M&M, whatever happened to freedom of speech?! If it freaks you out just scroll down or ignore it.

jb said...

An extraordinary blog!

Anadia -Aveiro-Portugal

Anonymous said...

I am sorry, but I did not find the post amusing.

JijiN3k0 said...

People can't seriously be freaking out over that M&M one, right? Talk about sensitivity!

R E D said...

Haha Dr. Phil!!! Love it...

My life is Crap!!!

Anonymous said...

the one with the dog being eaten, to whoever the sicko that sent that in, i hope to God that you are tortured and hung for being the animal that you are.

Anonymous said...

I think the people freaking out over the Dr Phil M&M are joking, lol. The Thanksgiving weekend email is hilarious.