Wednesday, December 24, 2008

The Triumphant Return

A Message From Fred Jurgens:

Dear Site Patrons,

As you know, last week's PostRejects were severely delayed as a result of the PostSecret guy catching me rummaging through his garbage and chasing me off with a broom. Well, I figured that by this past Sunday it would all have blown over, so I went back. The scavenging was going okay, no real juicy cards, until I ran across this one:

That is just too much. Come on, everybody knows that garbage is PUBLIC PROPERTY. Once you throw something away, anybody can come along, pick it up, and put it on their website. I mean, I'm not going to go into the "legalese" of it, but I'm pretty sure that this threat is a violation of my first and possibly third amendment rights.

No need to go to court, though, because my story has a happy ending. See, the PostSecret guy's garbage man is a buddy of mine from college, so I took him out and we got hammered. At some point in the night he agreed to dump the PostSecret trash off at my house every week. Score! So, without further ado, this week's PostRejects:

This one reminds me of one of my friend-blogs, The Daily Lifeku. They write angry haikus about people who are idiots. I hate idiots too!


Lina said...

first and third amendment?
you don't know your amendments bud. the first amendment is about freedom of religon and the third amendment is about billeting. Has nothing to do with going through peoples trash. I'm pretty sure that's illegal.

Fred J said...

Hey Lina...
I think your confusion might be resolved if you go back to the main page ( and scroll all the way down to the bottom.

Lina said...

I love it!
i get it now, so this is all a parody? thats pretty cool.

Kendra Holliday said...

I love the "Four Christmases" movie confession.

Penance can be done by whipping oneself with a strand of xmas lights.