Guest Rejects Are Soooo Sorry

Hey guys,

The next regular PostRejects update is coming this Monday (that's in about two days). In the meantime, here's some Guest Rejects. I got these from two different people, if you can believe that:






I think the theme for this week is "saying you're sorry when you're clearly not". Also I listened to Escape the Fate and holy shit they're terrible. I think if you like that band you pretty much lose the right to talk shit on other people's music. Like, I don't even care if the other person listens to Connor Oberst or some shit, you're not allowed to talk. Shit.

In case you haven't yet experienced this crapfest:
Escape the Fate MySpace page

-Fred

Sunday Rejects 4-19

---E-mail message---
Subject: Nicholson card

That's funny, I'm a lesbian because of Jack Nicholson.

---E-mail message---
Subject: Jack Nicholson?

Could someone please explain to me why we're all suddenly using Jack Nicholson to define our lesbianism?

A Harrowing Guest Reject

Puzzles? Not the sports section? That's fucked up.

Think you've got better secrets than this person?
Send your guest rejects to postrejects at gmail dot com or to my friend's P.O. box (address below). I usually run guest submissions on Wednesdays.

PostRejects
PO Box 205200
New Haven CT, 06520

Sunday Rejects 4-12-09

---E-mail message---
Subject: Heavy lies the head that wears the plastic crown

Dear "abusive" Prom King,

Good for you that you even got to use your powers. I, on the other hand, was deposed shortly after being named prom king. Adding to the indignity of the situation, they established a liberal democracy in my place.

Suffice it to say I haven't been to any of my high school class reunions.

Sunday/Monday/Tuesday Rejects 3-30

---E-mail message---

Subject: Condom fail

Dear Fred,

I totally understand where the person who wrote this card is coming from. I've been through it myself. When I got pregnant with (name redacted), I thought my life was over. But now I think (gender pronoun redacted)'s the best thing that ever happened to me.

Point is, sometimes our worst FAILs are nothing but WINs in disguise.

Love,
(name redacted)

PostRejects Coming Tomorrow

Dear Readers,

PostRejects will be back tomorrow with five ALL-NEW cards. Sorry for the unexpected hiatus, guys. I know this is the highlight of your impossibly dull existence et cetera.

Keep making me money,
Fred

Send me your Guest Rejects

A Message From Fred Jurgens:

Dear Readers,

I am currently traveling and will be unable to do the regular Sunday Rejects update this week. Instead, I'm posting three never-before seen Guest Rejects. For an explanation of Guest Rejects and an example of a really good Guest Reject submission, click here.

People, punching endangered butterflies is a crime. Don't do it.

That's really the worst thing that you picture?

Do you think your secrets are better than these other people's secrets? Then send them to me at PO Box 205200, New Haven CT 06520. Alternately you can e-mail guest rejects to me at postrejects dot gmail dot com.

Sunday Rejects 3-8-09

Sunday Rejects 3-1

A Message From Fred Jurgens

Hey readers,

Slim pickings so far this week. It looks like the PostSecret guy threw away a whole tin of baked beans, and it basically ruined the first batch of garbage that I got (for those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, see the About Me section in the righthand sidebar). Anyway, here's the first card I found that didn't have red stuff all over it. I'll get the other four cards up over the next day or so if I can find any.

Seriously, though, what kind of man would waste a perfectly good can of baked beans like that?

PostRejects Tees

A message from Fred Jurgens
(scroll down for this week's PostRejects)

Some of you may remember this very special PostReject, which appeared in my first update back in November.


Since I posted this card, I've received countless e-mails from people thanking me for bringing their dependency into the light. And so I thought, "What better way to tell the world about your dangerous addiction to glitter than a shirt specialty-printed with glitter ink?"

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the PostRejects glitter tee. Wear it proudly, with attitude:

...Or contritely, on the way to your glitter intervention.

The PostRejects glitter tee. Only $13.99 at the PostRejects Spreadshirt Store.